In search of the elusive #Bondnote, of Star FM’s intimacy with prophets


By Tafadzwa Muranganwa

Zimpapers-owned commercial radio station’s (Star FM) overdrive giving air time to the man of the cloth is raising the ire of some listeners who think it is now way too much.

On social media, people are expressing discontent with the radio station which was last year rated by  Zimbabwe All Media Products Research (Zamps) as having amassed 51 percent of the urban population listenership,   saying its intimacy with prophets leaves a lot to be desired.

It’s no secret that the station is facing hard times just like any other new radio station and Star FM appears to have found a lucrative revenue booster from the prophets who are also luring congregants to their ministries.

Popular prophets like PHD Ministries leader Walter Magaya, Goodness and Mercy Ministry founder Tapiwa Freddy, House of Grace Ministries leader Prophet Shame Hungwe among many others are now permanent features of the radio’s programming and advertorials.

The programmes and advertorials seem to be aired anytime of the day so much that it becomes difficult to those who are not interested to evade them.

One colleague of mine once said, “since there are rumours of incentives for radio presenters on outside broadcasting duty, it seems there’s stampede among fellow radio presenters to endear themselves to the prophets and traditional leaders so that they can get mula”.

The brand ‘Star  FM’ is now a subject of ridicule as some have now christened it ‘Prophets FM’. Other listeners are also being put off by the ‘adult-programmes’ that are done by popular Tilda Moyo which some feel they are too pornographic.

Last year, Kuwadzana East legislator Nelson Chamisa raised the concern in parliament with the Ministry of Media, Broadcasting and Information Services to look into the issue saying there was a possibility that the programmes were reaching to children and young adults and could have negative repercussions.

With the public outcry over the station’s obsession with the prophets, it is up to the management  to take a gamble-either or to ignore the listeners’ plea which is most likely to be detrimental all in the name of chasing the elusive dollar.




Dear Anne, now that the talk of panties is over…


By Madman Filtered Esq.

Ukwanile kodwa? Don’t answer that. We don’t know what influence you have over the minister to get him to take your side against a thick-ass foreign chic without underwear, but we are in consensus there is a lot of more fucked up shit out there to write about him.

Let’s take the case of Lady B for example. Why don’t you tell your Minister of youthiez about the kid who’s being denied her youth by none other than the same government he represents for it is they who have created this environment, an environment which allows for children to be desperate to the point of prostitution? Nine years old? A fucking nine year old ripped apart by a grown man’s lust? Let’s put that shit in perspective: pick any girl from your grade four class. That’s Lady B.

Then you want to tell us about culture? What culture? Whose culture? Culture used to say ‘it takes a village to raise an idiot’, no sorry, a child, the idiot is you who refuses to use your apparent influence for the betterment of shit but instead chooses to censor people’s right of wearing an underwear.

Then you have the balls (yes balls, you are a very attractive woman but you are under sanctions, sanctions involve name calling, that’s the Zimbabwean culture. Words like ‘warmonger have been flighted by a man who sent troops to Mozambique, DRC and his own country in every decade of his reign)…the balls to say you admire Grace, appear in solidarity after a brutal assault which cost the country…let me see? Not much, just its dignity (ladies, especially first ones don’t go about fucking up people in hotel rooms), dignity (the great Pan African’s sons are holed up in Johannesburg, why not at home? Why are they not I don’t know… Lending help in Sierra Leonne), dignity because your president’s wife almost got dragged to court in a foreign land for assault like some nyaope-smoking hoodlum. And yes, slightly over half-a-million Rands in damages to be paid. This culture you represent is fucking appalling.

So, why not write to the First Lady whom you admire so much, through the minister who obeys you so well, to…I don’t know, put this child in some orphanage, any orphanage, she can take her pick. Don’t tell me the so-claimed mother of the nation can’t find a suitable home for a poor little black girl now? Or is the First Lady(?) Is busy jumping rope with extension cords to the beat of ‘Eye of The Tiger’?


Replacement of Metal ID’s Provides ZANU with Room for Trickery in 2018 Elections


By Wisdom Mumera

ZANU PF has pulled up another master trick out of its bag of election gimmicks after the Registrar General announced the immediate revocation of all metal identity cards, in favour of plastic ID’s, making them ineligible during the 2018 elections.

Speaking to the media this week RG Tobaiwa Mudede said that within the next three months all metal ID’s will be withdrawn and thus a suspected  millions of adult Zimbabweans who have metal ID’s will have to change over to plastic ID’s within the prescribed 3 months starting September 4 until November 30 if they want to vote.

“They (metal ID’s) are not biometric. Our system has been biometric since 2010. Our cards will be requiring signatures, fingerprints and we have machines to take the images”

The move, however, appears a strategic ploy to disenfranchise even more voters after the government refused to grant voting rights to people in the diaspora, suspected to favour the opposition parties, stating instead that they need to come to the country and exercise their constitutional right.

Conspiracy theorists, basing on very legitimate fears, have cited the government move as part of a larger strategy to not just disenfranchise voters who will fail to change to plastic ID’s within the prescribed period but to also infuse fears into unwary rural villagers.

“Zimbabwe Election Support Network requests the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission to provide information to the public on its position regarding these developments about aliens and the use of metal ID’s given that they have a direct impact on the voter registration process, which the commission is about to embark on in a few weeks’ time”

“It is a notorious fact that Tobaiwa Mudede has previously been linked with allegations of aiding and abetting the ZANU regime’s vote rigging shenanigans.

“Perhaps rightly so, Zimbabweans somehow believe that they could be a sinister motive behind the registrar-general’s planned move to roll out the national mobile registration exercise at this juncture”, it said.

The opposition MDC-T has also come out against the timing of the move.

“The MDC sincerely hopes that this three-month mobile registration exercise shall be equitably distributed throughout the country’s urban, rural, peri-urban and commercial farming areas.

“On numerous occasions, Zimbabweans, particularly those who live in urban areas, have complained about the long delays in queues for voter registration, which state of affairs has unfortunately contributed to voter apathy in these areas”, it said.

Soothing for the apprehensive but confusing, all the same, are the remarks of Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (ZEC) Commissioner Netsai Mushonga who has dismissed Mudede’s statements saying that no one will fail to vote because of having a metal ID.

“Both IDs work just fine.

“According to the Constitution Chapter 12, Section 239(c) ZEC has sole mandate to register voters and Section 235 says no one should interfere,” said Commissioner Mushonga responding to questions on social media.

Mushonga’s statement as a member of the election conducting body would normally be expected to carry more weight and relevance as compared to the seemingly cheap politicking antics of Mudede but with ZANU PF at the helm, the line isn’t so straight.

ZEC may have the constitutional indulgence on determining what legitimizes a voter but ZANU has the overall power.

Previously the ruling party has been known to lie about cameras in voting booths to unsuspecting village old people whom they cajole to vote for them.

Thus the changeover can be hijacked and peddled among some uninformed citizenry as a high-level monitoring mechanism allowing the ruling party to see who votes for who.

During the last election, some villagers in Hwedza’s Ruzane village experienced a traumatizing episode after they received a visitation from unidentified men, suspected to be state agents.

The men, through the village head, called all the people to a meeting where they proceeded to threaten them with death if they voted for the opposition MDC-T.

According to eyewitness accounts, one of the man produced a firearm which he brandished around the trembling villagers.

Notable about the experience was that the men alleged that in the then upcoming election of 2013, they would be minute cameras implanted in the voting booths allowing them to the voting patterns for everyone.

The landslide results bear witness to the effect of the threats.

For all its food donations, indigenisation programmes and President Mugabe’s aged streetwise offhand dismissals of accusations of using violence, it’s common knowledge that nothing is beneath ZANU PF character when it needs to get votes, it does just about anything.

The ruling party has previously shown itself to lack the necessary decorum required of true liberators and has denied allegations of violence but deep down I think they know the truth that has sustained their strangling hold on power.

The ruling party has simply become the political equivalent of a criminal Mafia gang which we all fear and admire as it swaggers around our lives with unbridled power reining with impunity and disdain for all constitutional limitations and civilization mechanisms.

As the elections draw near more and more cars are appearing on the streets emblazoned with ZANU PF graffiti, extolling the President (for what I wonder)






Mwana waTeacher Haarohwe #KalaVernac


By Jeda Tichapakura

KalaVernac is the new Kalabash series supporting Zimbabwe’s indigenous languages! 

Hapana chinhu chinofadza sekuenda kubasa kwababa vako ,kunyanya-nyanya kana baba vako varishefu. Mwana wa Chief Superintended haajairirwe muCamp yemapurisa. Mwana waColonel haanetswe muBarack remaSoja. Mwana waMatron haana chigayi pachikoro ChemaNurse. Hauna zvaunomuita mwana iyeye.

Zuro ndizuro pa mission school pedu patinodzidza, umwe musikana muForm 4 anonzi Mutsa akabatwa arova mwana  muForm2 wemuNext class. Akaita kurikita mwana wevanhu, kumukinditsa zvemugezero chaizvo kusvika pakumupadura ganda repahuma rose iri. Bongozozo iri rakakonzera maungira anenharo. Pachikoro pakaita zhowe zhowe zvekuti musi iwowo hapana kana akadya ku Dining miromo yese ingori kiriri katara-katara kuwawata maStatement eku kuchidzira nyaya.

Zvakambotanga zvichanzi Mutsa achaenda kwaHeadmaster. Zvikanzi achaendeswa ku Disciplinary committee.  Zvikanzi achinzwinyi agonzwinyi. Kupiko, zvakozongoguma nekungonzi Mutsa ihama yaTeacher, haarohwe, ichibva yatopera yakadaro.

Ko hama yaTeacher hairohwe futi seiko iyewo ari mwana wechikoro? Kutanga rinhi ? Dai vari teacher vacho  zve varova  better, hanti  takagara tajaira hunhu hwavo here maTeacher kuti maTeacher anorova vanhu. Manje hama dzavo futi ?

Ah, zvinhu zvemaFavour ehama dzevanhu varipabasa zvinonetsa izvi. Apa takanzwa nemakuhwa kuti Mutsa wacho arikutotsvagirwa nzvimbo KuTeachers College. Manje manje anenge atova teacher futi. Ko munoti anoendepi iye atori nehama iri mu system kare? Achatoitira teaching practise yake ipo pano.

Manje neiwo hunhu hwake hwekuregedzera maoko pavanhu uhwu tichapona here kana ave nemvumo yekurova chaiyo chaiyo ?

Zvisinei hazvo, mangwana tichangoenda kuClass kwacho futi tongonorohwa naTeacher vacho varipo ivavo takamirira kuti Mutsa apedze maExam. Akapassa chete tinenge tawacha. Zvepachikoro chino, haya. Mwana waTeacher haarohwe veduwe.

Robert Mugabe Day: A Mockery Of Epic Proportions


 By Patson Dzamara

That Robert Mugabe’s name is indelibly inscribed and embellished in the hall of Africa’s revolutionary icons is not contestable. In his trail blazing years, Mugabe inscribed a permanent mark on the sand of Africa through vision, ideological clarity and leadership.

Along with liberation luminaries such as Julius Nyerere and Samora Machel, Mugabe played a central role in the liberation of Zimbabwe and of course, many other African nations. Being one of the few surviving strongmen of Africa’s liberation, Mugabe is not only a current brand and political personality, but also a historical figure. As such he is a link between the past and the present.

The reason why Mugabe gets such applause at African conferences is because he is a living representation of the liberation era, which cannot be taken away from him. Even his fiercest critic cannot ignore such a hallmark feature erected on his path. To many, he represents the idea and actuality of victory over the oppressive white minority rule.

However, despite such a decorated resume, Mugabe has done unthinkable things which outweigh his noble contributions in the past. When his legendary exploits of the past are juxtaposed to his current deplorable status, one is convinced beyond any doubt that indeed power corrupts. Mugabe has presided over monumental failures in the past 37 years of his leadership journey. Not only that, he continues to dodder on the affairs of Zimbabwe despite his inability to perform his duties as a result of old age.

In his political and natural sunset, of course, with the help of his thuggish motor-mouth wife, the aged President of Zimbabwe seems determined to drive the final nail into his coffin.

This same Mugabe, on one hand, is an unquestionable liberation personality yet, on the other hand, is an apt embodiment of leadership failure. Mugabe has presided over cataclysmic atrocities against Zimbabweans, such the Gukurahundi massacres, Murambatsvina, violent land grabs, abductions and even murdering his opponents.

The Mugabe led government’s mismanagement has plunged Zimbabwe into economic doldrums. Zimbabwe does not even have a currency of its own. Cash shortages and black market activities have become the order of the day. The majority of Zimbabweans live way below the poverty datum line.

Several millions of Zimbabweans are in need of food aid. Over one million school going children attend school on empty stomachs. Zimbabweans are dying daily of curable diseases belonging to a bygone era such as Typhoid. The rate of unemployment is above 90% and most graduates have resorted to vending almost anything, including their bodies.

It is against this backdrop that I consider the decision and declaration by the government to make Mugabe’s birthday a public holiday not only absurd but a mockery of epic proportions. It is an insult to Zimbabweans who have been led through untold suffering and oppression by the same Mugabe.

In fact, it is actually evil.

Mugabe’s name no longer deserves to be included in the same sentence with the word legacy. Whatever had accrued to his name in terms of legacy has been destroyed by his dismal leadership after the attainment of independence.

Patson Dzamara is a leadership coach, author, political analyst and activist based in Zimbabwe.