8 Things I Learned About The Tinder Dating App In The Past 2 Days

 

By Samantha Nyasha 

Tinder is an online dating app. An intimidating one at that. Mostly because its known as an app that is used by people who want to hook up. This is why I always hesitated signing up. But, after a conversation with one of my friends who happened to use the app, I was convinced and I decided to bite the bullet and try it out. Put myself out there. I was worried about the kind of people I’d find on the app or rather the kind of people I wouldn’t find. In my mind, it was an app for people looking for easy sex. I was worried about what joining Tinder would say about me. Desperate, sad and pathetic.

My Tinder profile

However, I soon realized that like any social media site, Tinder is a fast and easy way to meet people. Just like in real life you will meet all kinds of people. Awesome people, assholes, cute boys, not so cute boys, people you connect with, people you don’t connect with, you will meet future friends and most likely people who want to hook up and so on. The most important thing is that you are in control of who can message you and where things go. So if you’re curious about how the online dating game plays out in Zimbabwe. Here’s a few things I realized after using the app for a few days.

1. It’s like using a fast-food drive through

You get in, check out the menu and place your order, all in the comfort of your own home. If you are anti social. Tinder is bae. When you open the app, you are bombarded with hundreds of pictures of men or women who are 15km or less to where you are. You simply swipe left if you don’t like what you see, or right if you do like what you see. The catch? You can only get connected to people who have also swiped right on your pictures.

2. Keep it short and sweet

Unlike dating websites like Match.Com or eHarmony, that make you go through a torturous Q & A section that quite literally takes hours to complete, you will be signed up in 5 minutes or less with Tinder. All you need to do is upload pictures and write a short profile. You are more likely to get a response if you have great quality pictures and have a variety of pictures so that people get a good idea of what you really look like.

3. You have to sign up through Facebook

This one was a huge deterrent for me. And there doesn’t seem to be a way around this. I don’t want people on Facebook to know I’m on Tinder but they do promise that they wont post anything to your profile. They seem to mainly use your Facebook account for your profile pictures and work status. You can also see which of your Facebook friends are on Tinder by using the Swipe with Friends section which irked me and I panicked and quickly shut down my account but reassessed the situation and decided that I didn’t care if they saw my profile haha. They’re on there too so, your secret is mine 😉

4. Be prepared to swipe a lot

This ones important. I’m guessing for every 100 or so swipes you will get an average of about 10 – 20 guys you like. And of those 20 only about 5 will swipe right on your profile too. And of those five you might really only connect with 1 or none. So if you do your math, that means the more you swipe the better chance you have at meeting someone legit. Get yourself a glass of wine, relax and dedicate a good hour to swiping through different profiles. I’m guessing for every 100 swipes. You’ll probably only connect with 1 person.

5. #DistanceMatters

What makes Tinder unique is that it tries to connect you to someone who is physically close to where you are swiping from at that moment. So if you are looking to “hook up” with someone, whatever that means. This app is perfect. You can literally link up ASAP. It also makes it easier to meet up if you are just interested in getting to know someone on a one on one basis. If you run out of profiles to swipe, try using the app at a different location to where you normally swipe from and new profiles will come up.

6. Tinder users in Zimbabwe seem highly educated and intellectual

I did not have any dull conversations. Most people that messaged me wanted to know more about me. No one made any aggressive sexual advances. Most people hold degrees or are professionals. I talked to a doctor who works in China and speaks Mandarin. Most of the questions had nothing to do with sex but my interests, passions and work.

7. It can be awkward

This city is too small. I’ll say it again, Harare is too *fucking small. You will come across one or two profiles of people you know. A close friend, an ex, a family member which is just weird. But just swipe left  and pretend it did not happen.

8. Issa melting pot

As a black African woman. I tend to gravitate more towards black men and tend to stay in social circles with mostly black people. If you are interested in dating or getting to know people of different ethnicities, you have a better shot at making that happen on Tinder.  You are likely to find an open minded black/white/Indian person on Tinder that in real life cause lets be real. We have a lot of racial biases and prejudices in this country. People tend to stick to their own and that makes it harder to approach one another. I’m not saying if you swipe right on a vanilla guy with washboard abs he will swipe back at ya. But, the more you swipe on vanilla guys. The more chances you will get of connecting with someone and vice versa. #Maths

There you go. My final thoughts on Tinder are that its not what I expected. I was pleasantly surprised. I’m guessing it has a lot to do with the fact that using it in Zimbabwe is quite different than using it anywhere else in the world if you consider cultural norms and such. There are a lot of good looking guys. There are a lot of guys who seem to have genuine intentions. My goal was to swipe through as many profiles as possible. I signed up on Saturday so I’ve been on there for a full 2 days. I must have swiped through about 200 profiles, liked between 50 – 80 and got 8 matches. There are only 2 guys that I am having some pretty good/deep life convos with and one possible meet up on the horizon.  I was planning on deleting my account, article in tow but I like the app and I will keep it up for a full 7 days and see this experiment through. If you are curious and looking to meet new people. I recommend Tinder. Good swiping!

How Zimbabweans Reacted To Mugabe Donating $1 Million To The African Union

 

By Watmore Makokoba

President of Zimbabwe (93) has donated US$1 million to the African Union purportedly to help the continental organisation to foster independence from donor funds, although this has been received with praises from some circles, widespread condemnation of the act rather speak of the act as a blooper and deviation from priority.

Human right defender and leader of ZimbabweYadzoka, a citizen movement currently in a massive rural voter education and mobilization said the gesture by Mugabe demonstrates the high level of insensitivity of this government on its people. “We are told Zimbabwe is broke and we can see nothing is moving in the country but our head of state is generously donating to AU.

“To those few who were still under a shadow of doubt, it is very clear that with Mugabe we are not going anywhere,

“He is not concerned with our problem, he doesn’t speak about our problems, “A week ago in Masvingo, he told unemployed youths to go and herd cattle, this shows you the insensitivity of our leadership, “Our people are tired and as we go around the rural communities the suffering is obvious” said Chimhutu.

“Our people are tired and as we go around the rural communities the suffering is obvious” said Chimhutu.

DR Maxwell Shumba, President of Zimbabwe People First (ZimFirst) described the gesture as a bribe to AU and daylight robbery to the people of Zimbabwe.

“Stealing our money to bribe AU, Mugabe decides to donate looted money to give AU money to buy their silence, “It shows how heartless he is. Zimbabweans are living in sub-human conditions ranging from the effects of a collapsed health sector, industry, and transport system and amid cash shortages,

“What does Mugabe do? Show the world what that he does. Or care about the citizens he purports to lead,

“I condemn strongly AU for accepting the bribe, this  action has no place in modern society and  that it is morally bankrupt, shame on both Mugabe and AU, “Once again Zimbabweans have been left to be skinned alive and by the dictatorship bent on rigging and bring those shown are supposed to call them out,

“The faster Zimbabweans know that we are on our own the better because we need to unite against this criminal behavior by Mugabe”, said Dr. Shumba.

The Zimbabwe Communist Party (ZCP) dismissed the donation as mere way to portray President Mugabe as a Pan-Africanist who wants to ensure that Africa is not dependent on institutions and governments outside Africa and secondly to reinforce the pretense that Zimbabwe has implemented a successful land reform programme.

“This in our view is hypocrisy of the highest order given the number of Zimbabwean migrants who are scattered all over the world in search of a better life due to the economic collapse caused by the plunder by the parasitic black bourgeoisie, the social class whose interests the ZANU(PF) government represents,

“People are dying because of the lack of drugs in our country. Students from poor communities cannot access schooling given the high fees charged by the Mugabe regime,

“We cannot donate our scanty resources to the AU when Zimbabweans are reduced to unprecedented poverty levels!” said Ngqabutho Nicholas Mabhena, spokesperson of ZCP.

The 1 million dollars is reported to have been raised after auctioning of Mugabe’s 300 cattle, practically and mathematically raising eyebrows that one beast must have been sold at more than $3000 yet on average, a cow would cost about $350-$400 in Zimbabwe.

In an interview with a German radio station, Zanu PF Chairman and Politburo member Simon Khaya Moyo, however, commended this as a good and strategic gesture as it would help AU to be self-sustaining.

 

#NkosiDzadzy for President

 

by Samantha Nyasha

Stop the press everyone, this just in. It looks like having a hot president is a thing of the future. And now Zimbabwe has a chance to have its own baelicious president in the form of Dr. Nkosana Moyo or as one Twitter user aptly called him #NkosiDzadzy. 

I mean forget about his policies, it’s nothing new that a candidate will ride on the coattails of his looks and likeability. Canada has Justin Trudeau and that face arguably helped him become Prime Minister. France has Macron, a young and handsome Commander in Chief and America had Obama who even got a Youtube hit, “Crush on Obama.” It cannot be denied that this is the generation that feeds off of Facebook and Instagram timelines and tweeter feeds. The generation of #Grandpabae. Your physical appeal can go a long way and should be taken advantage of it. Could likes on Facebook translate to votes? It’s highly likely. 

It’s what Lumumba tried to do and failed because he just tried too damn hard. But I understand If you’re not sold on his looks alone, here are a few facts from Pindula about Dr. Moyo.  

  1. He is the former Minister of Industry and Integration Trade – so technically he does have experience. 

  2. He has a Ph.D. in Physics – we all know how Zimbabwe values a well-educated president.

  3. He is a certified pilot – Ohh dzadzy, fly me away.  

  4. He was the CEO of Standard Chartered Bank Zimbabwe – he is here to not only break hearts but break this wretched curse on our economy. 

  5. He came up with the name Econet, now Zimbabwe’s leading telecommunications company – he’s creative people! What more would you want?! 

Okay okay, so that’s not enough to make someone president. But my eyes and ears are peeled and I can’t wait to hear about his policies and the kind of change he hopes to bring to Zimbabwe. So there you have it. There is a new presidential candidate in town. He happens to be a silver fox, a hottie, a dzaddy, a bae. EYE CANDY. Will his campaign managers realize the power of a good smize and maximize on the fact that many people could potentially vote for him because he is simply nice to look at? Time will tell. 

How Zimbabwe’s New Generation Of Voters Are Shaping 2018 Elections

 

By Kalabash Contributor

The feminist ideology, the future is female may be somewhat true on the global scene but in Zimbabwe’s case the future is in the youth before it can be made about sex, then again saying it is female disregards the equality most feminists have been calling for, anyway that’s a topic for another day.

The focus on youth Rallies by political players confirms that the view by critics that political parties are faced with the mammoth task of recruiting a new generation of voters in the forthcoming elections.  National Electoral Reforms Agenda (NERA) has been pushing towards mobilizing the youth to register for the forthcoming elections, the focus on youth by NERA is not an isolated one.

 

 

President Robert Mugabe being likened to Jesus cannot be any truer as he has been bringing about the rejuvenation of infrastructure in the areas where he has been having his youth rallies which are currently in progress and are set to take place across the country.

Like any other 90s baby I grew up to a generation of politicians that assured the youth that they were the future of tomorrow. That crop of politicians has not changed either has tomorrow came, the majority of parliamentarians have been shuffled and reshuffled. The opposition party has been around for so long, and its members have changed much despite being the party that positions itself as the pioneers of change.

Zimbabwean politics has always evolved around material things without any sound results to bank on.  The young voters should make use of results and policies to decide who to vote for on that basis instead of handouts in the form of maize, fertilizer which would not last long or better yet a piece of land that one cannot afford to develop.

Image courtesy of Animal Detectors

We Must Not Wait For Mugabe To Die

 

By Patson Dzamara

A loser is essentially someone who gives up before exhausting all available options. With that in mind, there is a very dangerous but widely accepted fallacy we must address, especially as we stare at the do-or-die 2018 elections.

That Zimbabwe is hobbling on its knees towards a total precipice is incontestable. At the epicenter of the rot and debilitation in Zimbabwe is the unmistakably conspicuous and fading figure of Robert Mugabe.

Ever since the attainment of black majority rule in 1980, lurching from one political crisis to another, Zimbabwe’s political trajectory has been constructed around Mugabe. Bar his reliance on uncouth and underhand methods, for 37 years Mugabe has been the strongman, standard, and bellwether of Zimbabwean politics.

By now he could be comatose, but the system still hinges around him. For as long as he is alive, sadly, there seems to be no prospect for that to change. Radical reforms from within his party of sycophants are highly unlikely and would be doomed if anyone tried to initiate them. Even more sadly, from without, efforts to dismantle the corrupt system of patronage either lack the strength and political will to finish the job, or are themselves corrupted and antiquated.

It is this ugly reality which causes some people to pathetically and precariously hang their hopes for transformation on the thin and frail thread of the possibility of Mugabe’s death. That is a detestable product of myopia, fatalism, and cowardice.

Make no mistake; I am not under any illusion neither do I fall under the category of those clueless miscreants who believe that Mugabe possesses some supernatural powers. Die he shall, just like anyone else, but it is stupid for us to pin our hopes for change on the anticipation of his death.

The argument which is brought forward by the proponents of the warped theory that transition will be caused by Mugabe’s death is premised on somewhat unrealistic projections and assumptions. Firstly, nobody knows the day and time Mugabe is going to die despite the fact that he is increasingly succumbing to the inescapable pressure of his advanced age. Ever since my high school going days, the possibility and imminence of Mugabe’s death have always been the subject of much speculation. In fact, almost every year, he is rumored to have died only to resurface somewhere with his mischievous smile.

Secondly and most importantly, when analyzing or dealing with Mugabe, it is imperative to note that he is now more than a person. He is a system, an idea and a way of doing things. Mugabe, the person, may and will die but that won’t mark the end of Mugabe the system, idea, and way of doing business.

Indeed, there is a huge possibility that the death of Mugabe the person may upset Mugabe the system, approach, and way of doing things but there is more we can project. His death may accord Mugabe the system, idea, and way of doing business an opportunity to regenerate, reinvigorate and refocus, morphing into a much stronger outfit.

If Mugabe dies in power, that will be a monumental and generational political travesty. It will be a mockery of history-making proportions. Not only that, it will be an opportunity for the system to embolden its grip on power.

It, therefore, stands to reason that waiting for Mugabe to die, hoping his death will usher in change is not only an act of cowardice but stupidity. We must not wait for Mugabe to die, we must face him head on and deal with him. Our hopes for a better Zimbabwe must not be predicated on the anticipation of his death neither should we give him the satisfaction of living out his days scornfully urinating on your our heads.

We must remove him from power by any constitutional means possible. We must challenge him out of power. We must vote him out of power. We must pressurize him out of power through widespread unrest, agitation, protests and mass resistance.

I cherish the idea of Mugabe living to witness the transition into a new dispensation.

A new and better Zimbabwe is possible in our lifetime. We shall come face to face with it.

Patson Dzamara is a leadership coach and author, political activist, and analyst based in Zimbabwe.

Image source: Emma Carroll