Dear Anne, now that the talk of panties is over…

 

By Madman Filtered Esq.

Ukwanile kodwa? Don’t answer that. We don’t know what influence you have over the minister to get him to take your side against a thick-ass foreign chic without underwear, but we are in consensus there is a lot of more fucked up shit out there to write about him.

Let’s take the case of Lady B for example. Why don’t you tell your Minister of youthiez about the kid who’s being denied her youth by none other than the same government he represents for it is they who have created this environment, an environment which allows for children to be desperate to the point of prostitution? Nine years old? A fucking nine year old ripped apart by a grown man’s lust? Let’s put that shit in perspective: pick any girl from your grade four class. That’s Lady B.

Then you want to tell us about culture? What culture? Whose culture? Culture used to say ‘it takes a village to raise an idiot’, no sorry, a child, the idiot is you who refuses to use your apparent influence for the betterment of shit but instead chooses to censor people’s right of wearing an underwear.

Then you have the balls (yes balls, you are a very attractive woman but you are under sanctions, sanctions involve name calling, that’s the Zimbabwean culture. Words like ‘warmonger have been flighted by a man who sent troops to Mozambique, DRC and his own country in every decade of his reign)…the balls to say you admire Grace, appear in solidarity after a brutal assault which cost the country…let me see? Not much, just its dignity (ladies, especially first ones don’t go about fucking up people in hotel rooms), dignity (the great Pan African’s sons are holed up in Johannesburg, why not at home? Why are they not I don’t know… Lending help in Sierra Leonne), dignity because your president’s wife almost got dragged to court in a foreign land for assault like some nyaope-smoking hoodlum. And yes, slightly over half-a-million Rands in damages to be paid. This culture you represent is fucking appalling.

So, why not write to the First Lady whom you admire so much, through the minister who obeys you so well, to…I don’t know, put this child in some orphanage, any orphanage, she can take her pick. Don’t tell me the so-claimed mother of the nation can’t find a suitable home for a poor little black girl now? Or is the First Lady(?) Is busy jumping rope with extension cords to the beat of ‘Eye of The Tiger’?

 

Will The Winning Politician Have Asocial Media Account In 2018?

 

By Wisdom Mumera

Social media has been the chief catalyst for increased political discourse and the rise of activism by bringing politics nearer and engagement being done within a ‘safer’ context.

According to Ciara McCorley, Research Fellow, African Development and Democracy, University of Sussex the number of social media users has increased providing an easy to reach source of disgruntled people.

“WhatsApp has been widely used as a tool to mobilise. It accounts for 34% of all mobile data used in Zimbabwe, Facebook reports 260,000 daily users, of 890,000 Zimbabweans online which accounts for 3% of mobile broadband usage in the country. Newsday, an independent news outlet, increased its Twitter network by 10,000 followers in the past month alone”, she says.

2018 elections, however, provide a litmus test for the effective use of social media to influence political discourse and indications on the ground don’t point towards a period of hashtag politicians tweeting jabs on social media fighting for voters as the precedent of activists hinted.

ZANU PF has seemingly ignored the techno-savvy way of soliciting for supporters and rallying them through social media.

Few who have harnessed or found themselves on social media have been primarily using it for internal wars, (Jonathan Moyo, Justice Mayor Wadyajena) or have been hijacked in their unguarded moments (Psychology Maziwisa on jobs, President Mugabe’s infamous sleeping videos on Twitter).

ZANU has been engaging youths through traditional ways, holding rallies and marching in the streets. Youth Interface Rallies have been testaments to the ruling party’s powers to mobilise people sans tech-gimmicks, and a direct middle-finger snubbing of social media capers.

The opposition has also not dived into social media with the zeal of activists but has been guarded having it both ways with a strong emphasis on traditional methods just like ZANU PF.

A select few of its members like MDC-T VP Nelson Chamisa, Tendai Biti leader of PDP on Twitter and Jessie Majome on Facebook have been utilizing social media with any consistency.

The party’s social platforms such on Facebook and Twitter are seldom updated, and then, usually with pictures from rallies already held.

Thus for the politicians, social media is yet to be a core instrument as exhibited by activists from 2016 remaining largely the gadgetry for the adventurous only to be used sparingly.

For online activism government has crafted the Cyber Crime Bill which will increase monitoring.

A July report by the Collaboration on International ICT Policy for East and Southern Africa (CIPESA) says 18 African governments requested for information on over a hundred people on Facebook in 2016.

“The leading countries are Sudan which made 35 requests for information on 39 Facebook users between 2013 and 2016 followed by Egypt and South Africa which both made 33 requests.

“It is a similar story for Google which had 10 African countries requesting information about online users”, it said.

Without a legal provision equipping her with power, Zimbabwe is still lagging but the passage of the bill will surely see an increase.

As for the elections, the tools are still mainly the same old ones and the winner may not need to be tweeting his winning speech.

Replacement of Metal ID’s Provides ZANU with Room for Trickery in 2018 Elections

 

By Wisdom Mumera

ZANU PF has pulled up another master trick out of its bag of election gimmicks after the Registrar General announced the immediate revocation of all metal identity cards, in favour of plastic ID’s, making them ineligible during the 2018 elections.

Speaking to the media this week RG Tobaiwa Mudede said that within the next three months all metal ID’s will be withdrawn and thus a suspected  millions of adult Zimbabweans who have metal ID’s will have to change over to plastic ID’s within the prescribed 3 months starting September 4 until November 30 if they want to vote.

“They (metal ID’s) are not biometric. Our system has been biometric since 2010. Our cards will be requiring signatures, fingerprints and we have machines to take the images”

The move, however, appears a strategic ploy to disenfranchise even more voters after the government refused to grant voting rights to people in the diaspora, suspected to favour the opposition parties, stating instead that they need to come to the country and exercise their constitutional right.

Conspiracy theorists, basing on very legitimate fears, have cited the government move as part of a larger strategy to not just disenfranchise voters who will fail to change to plastic ID’s within the prescribed period but to also infuse fears into unwary rural villagers.

“Zimbabwe Election Support Network requests the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission to provide information to the public on its position regarding these developments about aliens and the use of metal ID’s given that they have a direct impact on the voter registration process, which the commission is about to embark on in a few weeks’ time”

“It is a notorious fact that Tobaiwa Mudede has previously been linked with allegations of aiding and abetting the ZANU regime’s vote rigging shenanigans.

“Perhaps rightly so, Zimbabweans somehow believe that they could be a sinister motive behind the registrar-general’s planned move to roll out the national mobile registration exercise at this juncture”, it said.

The opposition MDC-T has also come out against the timing of the move.

“The MDC sincerely hopes that this three-month mobile registration exercise shall be equitably distributed throughout the country’s urban, rural, peri-urban and commercial farming areas.

“On numerous occasions, Zimbabweans, particularly those who live in urban areas, have complained about the long delays in queues for voter registration, which state of affairs has unfortunately contributed to voter apathy in these areas”, it said.

Soothing for the apprehensive but confusing, all the same, are the remarks of Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (ZEC) Commissioner Netsai Mushonga who has dismissed Mudede’s statements saying that no one will fail to vote because of having a metal ID.

“Both IDs work just fine.

“According to the Constitution Chapter 12, Section 239(c) ZEC has sole mandate to register voters and Section 235 says no one should interfere,” said Commissioner Mushonga responding to questions on social media.

Mushonga’s statement as a member of the election conducting body would normally be expected to carry more weight and relevance as compared to the seemingly cheap politicking antics of Mudede but with ZANU PF at the helm, the line isn’t so straight.

ZEC may have the constitutional indulgence on determining what legitimizes a voter but ZANU has the overall power.

Previously the ruling party has been known to lie about cameras in voting booths to unsuspecting village old people whom they cajole to vote for them.

Thus the changeover can be hijacked and peddled among some uninformed citizenry as a high-level monitoring mechanism allowing the ruling party to see who votes for who.

During the last election, some villagers in Hwedza’s Ruzane village experienced a traumatizing episode after they received a visitation from unidentified men, suspected to be state agents.

The men, through the village head, called all the people to a meeting where they proceeded to threaten them with death if they voted for the opposition MDC-T.

According to eyewitness accounts, one of the man produced a firearm which he brandished around the trembling villagers.

Notable about the experience was that the men alleged that in the then upcoming election of 2013, they would be minute cameras implanted in the voting booths allowing them to the voting patterns for everyone.

The landslide results bear witness to the effect of the threats.

For all its food donations, indigenisation programmes and President Mugabe’s aged streetwise offhand dismissals of accusations of using violence, it’s common knowledge that nothing is beneath ZANU PF character when it needs to get votes, it does just about anything.

The ruling party has previously shown itself to lack the necessary decorum required of true liberators and has denied allegations of violence but deep down I think they know the truth that has sustained their strangling hold on power.

The ruling party has simply become the political equivalent of a criminal Mafia gang which we all fear and admire as it swaggers around our lives with unbridled power reining with impunity and disdain for all constitutional limitations and civilization mechanisms.

As the elections draw near more and more cars are appearing on the streets emblazoned with ZANU PF graffiti, extolling the President (for what I wonder)

 

 

 

 

 

Spiderman Home-Coming, Or Spiderboy Home-Working

 

By Director Z / Tatenda Mbudzi

Disclaimer: the following reviews, opinions will be extremely biased. BUT also come from a place of empathy, as the writer is a writer/director actor, and no-one ever sets out to make bad film. In most cases. PLUS the author has worked at a bunch of Hollywood Studios long enough to understand, love and simultaneously hate the miracle of modern filmmaking.   

Came home! From like, the CIVIL WAR movie! Or should I say the CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, TV show – that ironically started to feel like a movie the moment SPIDERMAN was introduced.

Can we talk about feeling.? SPIDER MAN! He made the trailer for CIVIL WAR a historic moment –

BUT – I don’t think he made it home just yet. Not as SPIDER…..MAN

MILD to BLAZING RED HOT SPOILERS ahead. If you have not watched the SAM RAIMI, MARC WEBB, and who is the latest guy? (Ha – just kidding, but really, why can’t I recall his name. Hmmm. ) Jon Watts! Then shoot yourself in the foot.

 

Look, the movie was very enjoyable – I especially like the use of CINEMA VERITE, FOUND FOOTAGE style film technique to give a SNAP-CHAT-esque window into the AIRPORT FIGHT SCENE. I think this was added especially to make GENERATION Y and Z feel at “HOME”. (how many home puns can I use here, try me)

And I thought the rest of the film was OK.

Filmmaking is hard.

Why am I writing this article again?  Because I was expecting a proper re-launch into SPIDERMAN – because there was this hope that it would be done “right”. But it didn’t hit the mark for me. Tom Holland was great – finally, a teenager playing a teenager – never mind that he is a British Teenager, playing an American Teenager.

Did I say filmmaking is hard? It really is.

I just feel overall that this was really an episode of SPIDER BOY – and not SPIDERMAN – and you could say “Well Disney and Marvel are taking their time to establish the character”. Yes, you could say that. You could say it out loud as you read this. The fact remains – Young Spidey doesn’t really come into his own enough in this story.

What we are watching, is really a prolonged first act (dare I say PILOT EPISODE –ugh). We don’t get a sense of life or death level threat to Spiderman’s “world”. And yes, some have said, “Oh it’s nice that it’s a smaller story”. True, but it still has to feel life or death, the stakes have to be there….

It all just feels one step away from being as VISCERAL as it should be. It’s just a little too safe. There are great comedic moments of banter between characters, BUT, not enough of an engine to feel like the adventure as a whole matter.

This said – I really did love the ELEVATOR scene – finally, the prospect of DEATH makes an appearance! But still, this isn’t a direct result of the VILLAIN deliberately making things hard for Spiderman, so we I felt a little lackluster. “THAT’S COOL!” but it doesn’t say anything about the conflict between the two main characters. If VULTURE was a committed villain, wouldn’t he have risked endangering his daughters’ life to get what he wanted?

LIKE DOC OC! BAM!

I hate to agree with the popular consensus  – but. Screw it. (see what I did there)

DOC OC is currently the best villain in the EXTENDED/ADOPTED Marvel Cinematic Universe. Still. I mean, I can’t think of any others at the moment.

I mean, not to sound weird, but VISUALLY – he is a sexy villain. The animation of the arms was great  – and his desire for greatness led to the death of his WIFE. YAY! DEPTH!

I just don’t get that sense of depth from EL VULTURE.

I am a long time Spidey Fan, getting comics sporadically from the Kingstons bookstore in ZIM, and just gobbling them up, and drawing Spidey after John Romita Jr. I am not familiar with the VULTURE the way I know DOC OC.

DOC OC is the staple character of the CARTOON SPIDERMAN from the 90’s – so I am a little biased.

Still, when DOC OC hits the screen in SPIDERMAN 2 (2005) we see a morphed creature –inseparable from the appendages that make him what he is.

I do not see the same sort of HUBRIS or desire for power manifested as a result of the VULTURE WINGS. Now I’m not saying they needed to be burnt into Michael Keaton’s spinal column and nervous system by a malfunctioning AI chip (I mean the AI is a bit of s stretch) BUT – the VULTURE WINGS didn’t push the character of the VILLAIN to a dangerous enough MORAL high ground if you will. There was nothing TRANSFORMATIVE about the use of the Vulture wings.

If SPIDERMAN is about GREAT POWER, coming with GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. Then it is also about GREAT POWER coming with great CORRUPTION, and IRRESPONSIBILITY. I see that in DOC OC – and it is visually manifested which is why I find him to be such a satisfying villain to watch.  The arms are a character fused with DOC OC. Man, it’s pretty.

In Spiderman Home Coming – the POWER of the Chi-Tari weapons affects Michael Keatons character on a surface level – his soul is not touched. And it doesn’t have to be touched “supernaturally” – it could be classic greed, like in Breaking Bad. No Magic, just plain human, tragic – ness (that sorta rhymes). Instead, Keaton is almost too normal as a criminal; there is nothing mysterious about him. He isn’t a real challenge for Spiderman because he isn’t evil or vindictive enough from a moral standpoint. And because of this VULTURE cannot push SPIDERBOY into becoming SPIDERMAN. A hero is only as good as his villain someone once said. VULTURE doesn’t create a single TRULY challenging scenario for SPIDER-BOY to figure out his identity.

In fact, the main ANTAGONIST in this FILM is really IRON MAN…who takes away SPIDER BOY’S “unearned” power…How can IRON MAN be more of a bad guy, than the friggin BAD GUY!

In cultures all around the world- there is a RITE OF PASSAGE to becoming a man, great loss, great sacrifice. SPIDERBOY doesn’t have this happen in this movie, so he can’t really be called SPIDER-MAN. In fact, that’s a premature speculation. (See what I did there).

If they changed the title to SPIDER-BOY HOME-WORKING – the film would make more sense, because Peter Parker and his friend do a lot of homework together.

Yay diverse casting in this movie by the way!

Agree or Disagree? Tweet at me, and I’ll respond when the WIFI gods bless me

 

Tatenda Mbudzi is a filmmaker/comedian who rubs people the wrong way, or the right way (if the price is right)His first feature film Zim High comes out this year- stars Tatenda Mbudzi, and Rick Cosnett from The Flash.

Twitter: @ta10da instagram: tatendambudzi. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetatenda

New Music: Mushawarukwa The Mixtape

 


Born in the oldest high-density suburb of a city in the eastern high lands of Zimbabwe (a ghetto called Sakubva in the city of Mutare), Flexxo Mushawarukwa’s musical talent was discovered in a primary school choir. As he grew older and living in squalor he began to write poems that were inspired by the experiences that he faced in that area of town. He then felt that it wasn’t enough to just write and not share his heart, that’s when he chose to recite his poems in rap form on street corners.  Upon noticing that his influence was growing he then took it further by taking his poems to a make shift recording studio where he mixed his street corner raps with a rhythm and the rest was history.

Watch Ndakweiwa (Official Music Video)