Zvinhu zvidiki zvinogona kudengendetsa nyika nhai?

 

By Jeda Tichapakura

Papfura mavhiki mashoma kubva zvaka uya mufindisi TD Jakes, asi sekutaurwa kwazvo, vanonzi vakaparidzira maChair. Chingava chikonzero ndechekuti kwakanga kune nyaya diki inenge hambe yainetsa. Ndoziva kuti hangu yakubhohwa kunzwa nezvayo but yaiva nyaya iya yaZodwa. Zvisinei hazvo,  ndakadzidza zvinhu zvandanga ndisina kumbofunga muhupenyu hwangu pamusoro pezvinhu zvidiki zvakaita senduwe.

You see, basa reNduwe is to act as the final defence mechanism.  The ultimate boarder control. The one that acts as  that little space between the Boarding bridge and the aeroplane door . Nduwe ndiwo muganhu.  iNhume yakapikira kurwisa kekupedzisira usati wayambuka muganhu, zvekuti paya paunorasa hunhu,  ndiyo inopa mashoko ekupedzisira ekuti,

“Wangu ka, kwawakuenda uku enda hako  asi enda uchiziva kuti wambopfura nepano.  Kana ini ndaonekwa, ziva kuti wapfura muganhu . Ndikaonekwa hangu zvogumira ipapo ,  usanyare stereki nekuti unenge uchiri nehunhu. Kunyangwe hako chiremerera chako chichidzikira nekuonekwa kwangu, chinenge chisina kurasika hacho chese.  Saka it’s not too late to turn back. Asi ini ndikazobva manje…. ”

In other words,  underwear is not mandatory,  it’s personal. It is a symbolic boundary,  a principle. One that serves as a reminder and a warning light.  Ndosaka vazhinji vachinyara kana kutoiyanika pawaya panze nekuti there is an emotional connection and moral purpose. A control that was planted into your mindset as a child,  kuti nduwe yako,  iSecret yako …Just like Vhoti yako !!!

Register to Vote , and choose your underwear wisely. Pasi neHuZodzwa hwekuramba kuvhota. Pamberi nenduwe.

…Asi imwe pfungwa inobva yati ko ndino vhoterei ndisina wekuvhotera. Shuwa ndingafambira kunoita spoiled ballot? Zvasiyanei nekufamba nenduwe inema Skid marks???

Ah,  ipapo hangu ndinoti kana zvakadaro sununguka kuva Zodwa zvako. Asi usazoshamisika kuona uchirambidzwa kuita zvaunoda  nevanhu vehurumende inenge yasarudzwa nevakapfeka dzavo ….Sezvakaitwa Zodwa

Eh ,  imi , ndiri kutamba hangu. Ndanga ndangoti tirangaridzane kuti nguva yekuRegister kuvhota yasvika ( asi zviri kunzi haisati yanyatsosvika futi , saka hameno kuti toziva zvipi). Kugadzirira zvinodiwa hakuna kuipa.  Nekuti chinhu chidiki seBallot chinogona kudengendetsa nyika futi.

Iri bho gen’a, tozotaura.

In search of the elusive #Bondnote, of Star FM’s intimacy with prophets

 

By Tafadzwa Muranganwa

Zimpapers-owned commercial radio station’s (Star FM) overdrive giving air time to the man of the cloth is raising the ire of some listeners who think it is now way too much.

On social media, people are expressing discontent with the radio station which was last year rated by  Zimbabwe All Media Products Research (Zamps) as having amassed 51 percent of the urban population listenership,   saying its intimacy with prophets leaves a lot to be desired.

It’s no secret that the station is facing hard times just like any other new radio station and Star FM appears to have found a lucrative revenue booster from the prophets who are also luring congregants to their ministries.

Popular prophets like PHD Ministries leader Walter Magaya, Goodness and Mercy Ministry founder Tapiwa Freddy, House of Grace Ministries leader Prophet Shame Hungwe among many others are now permanent features of the radio’s programming and advertorials.

The programmes and advertorials seem to be aired anytime of the day so much that it becomes difficult to those who are not interested to evade them.

One colleague of mine once said, “since there are rumours of incentives for radio presenters on outside broadcasting duty, it seems there’s stampede among fellow radio presenters to endear themselves to the prophets and traditional leaders so that they can get mula”.

The brand ‘Star  FM’ is now a subject of ridicule as some have now christened it ‘Prophets FM’. Other listeners are also being put off by the ‘adult-programmes’ that are done by popular Tilda Moyo which some feel they are too pornographic.

Last year, Kuwadzana East legislator Nelson Chamisa raised the concern in parliament with the Ministry of Media, Broadcasting and Information Services to look into the issue saying there was a possibility that the programmes were reaching to children and young adults and could have negative repercussions.

With the public outcry over the station’s obsession with the prophets, it is up to the management  to take a gamble-either or to ignore the listeners’ plea which is most likely to be detrimental all in the name of chasing the elusive dollar.

 

 

 

Dear Anne, now that the talk of panties is over…

 

By Madman Filtered Esq.

Ukwanile kodwa? Don’t answer that. We don’t know what influence you have over the minister to get him to take your side against a thick-ass foreign chic without underwear, but we are in consensus there is a lot of more fucked up shit out there to write about him.

Let’s take the case of Lady B for example. Why don’t you tell your Minister of youthiez about the kid who’s being denied her youth by none other than the same government he represents for it is they who have created this environment, an environment which allows for children to be desperate to the point of prostitution? Nine years old? A fucking nine year old ripped apart by a grown man’s lust? Let’s put that shit in perspective: pick any girl from your grade four class. That’s Lady B.

Then you want to tell us about culture? What culture? Whose culture? Culture used to say ‘it takes a village to raise an idiot’, no sorry, a child, the idiot is you who refuses to use your apparent influence for the betterment of shit but instead chooses to censor people’s right of wearing an underwear.

Then you have the balls (yes balls, you are a very attractive woman but you are under sanctions, sanctions involve name calling, that’s the Zimbabwean culture. Words like ‘warmonger have been flighted by a man who sent troops to Mozambique, DRC and his own country in every decade of his reign)…the balls to say you admire Grace, appear in solidarity after a brutal assault which cost the country…let me see? Not much, just its dignity (ladies, especially first ones don’t go about fucking up people in hotel rooms), dignity (the great Pan African’s sons are holed up in Johannesburg, why not at home? Why are they not I don’t know… Lending help in Sierra Leonne), dignity because your president’s wife almost got dragged to court in a foreign land for assault like some nyaope-smoking hoodlum. And yes, slightly over half-a-million Rands in damages to be paid. This culture you represent is fucking appalling.

So, why not write to the First Lady whom you admire so much, through the minister who obeys you so well, to…I don’t know, put this child in some orphanage, any orphanage, she can take her pick. Don’t tell me the so-claimed mother of the nation can’t find a suitable home for a poor little black girl now? Or is the First Lady(?) Is busy jumping rope with extension cords to the beat of ‘Eye of The Tiger’?

 

Spiderman Home-Coming, Or Spiderboy Home-Working

 

By Director Z / Tatenda Mbudzi

Disclaimer: the following reviews, opinions will be extremely biased. BUT also come from a place of empathy, as the writer is a writer/director actor, and no-one ever sets out to make bad film. In most cases. PLUS the author has worked at a bunch of Hollywood Studios long enough to understand, love and simultaneously hate the miracle of modern filmmaking.   

Came home! From like, the CIVIL WAR movie! Or should I say the CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, TV show – that ironically started to feel like a movie the moment SPIDERMAN was introduced.

Can we talk about feeling.? SPIDER MAN! He made the trailer for CIVIL WAR a historic moment –

BUT – I don’t think he made it home just yet. Not as SPIDER…..MAN

MILD to BLAZING RED HOT SPOILERS ahead. If you have not watched the SAM RAIMI, MARC WEBB, and who is the latest guy? (Ha – just kidding, but really, why can’t I recall his name. Hmmm. ) Jon Watts! Then shoot yourself in the foot.

 

Look, the movie was very enjoyable – I especially like the use of CINEMA VERITE, FOUND FOOTAGE style film technique to give a SNAP-CHAT-esque window into the AIRPORT FIGHT SCENE. I think this was added especially to make GENERATION Y and Z feel at “HOME”. (how many home puns can I use here, try me)

And I thought the rest of the film was OK.

Filmmaking is hard.

Why am I writing this article again?  Because I was expecting a proper re-launch into SPIDERMAN – because there was this hope that it would be done “right”. But it didn’t hit the mark for me. Tom Holland was great – finally, a teenager playing a teenager – never mind that he is a British Teenager, playing an American Teenager.

Did I say filmmaking is hard? It really is.

I just feel overall that this was really an episode of SPIDER BOY – and not SPIDERMAN – and you could say “Well Disney and Marvel are taking their time to establish the character”. Yes, you could say that. You could say it out loud as you read this. The fact remains – Young Spidey doesn’t really come into his own enough in this story.

What we are watching, is really a prolonged first act (dare I say PILOT EPISODE –ugh). We don’t get a sense of life or death level threat to Spiderman’s “world”. And yes, some have said, “Oh it’s nice that it’s a smaller story”. True, but it still has to feel life or death, the stakes have to be there….

It all just feels one step away from being as VISCERAL as it should be. It’s just a little too safe. There are great comedic moments of banter between characters, BUT, not enough of an engine to feel like the adventure as a whole matter.

This said – I really did love the ELEVATOR scene – finally, the prospect of DEATH makes an appearance! But still, this isn’t a direct result of the VILLAIN deliberately making things hard for Spiderman, so we I felt a little lackluster. “THAT’S COOL!” but it doesn’t say anything about the conflict between the two main characters. If VULTURE was a committed villain, wouldn’t he have risked endangering his daughters’ life to get what he wanted?

LIKE DOC OC! BAM!

I hate to agree with the popular consensus  – but. Screw it. (see what I did there)

DOC OC is currently the best villain in the EXTENDED/ADOPTED Marvel Cinematic Universe. Still. I mean, I can’t think of any others at the moment.

I mean, not to sound weird, but VISUALLY – he is a sexy villain. The animation of the arms was great  – and his desire for greatness led to the death of his WIFE. YAY! DEPTH!

I just don’t get that sense of depth from EL VULTURE.

I am a long time Spidey Fan, getting comics sporadically from the Kingstons bookstore in ZIM, and just gobbling them up, and drawing Spidey after John Romita Jr. I am not familiar with the VULTURE the way I know DOC OC.

DOC OC is the staple character of the CARTOON SPIDERMAN from the 90’s – so I am a little biased.

Still, when DOC OC hits the screen in SPIDERMAN 2 (2005) we see a morphed creature –inseparable from the appendages that make him what he is.

I do not see the same sort of HUBRIS or desire for power manifested as a result of the VULTURE WINGS. Now I’m not saying they needed to be burnt into Michael Keaton’s spinal column and nervous system by a malfunctioning AI chip (I mean the AI is a bit of s stretch) BUT – the VULTURE WINGS didn’t push the character of the VILLAIN to a dangerous enough MORAL high ground if you will. There was nothing TRANSFORMATIVE about the use of the Vulture wings.

If SPIDERMAN is about GREAT POWER, coming with GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. Then it is also about GREAT POWER coming with great CORRUPTION, and IRRESPONSIBILITY. I see that in DOC OC – and it is visually manifested which is why I find him to be such a satisfying villain to watch.  The arms are a character fused with DOC OC. Man, it’s pretty.

In Spiderman Home Coming – the POWER of the Chi-Tari weapons affects Michael Keatons character on a surface level – his soul is not touched. And it doesn’t have to be touched “supernaturally” – it could be classic greed, like in Breaking Bad. No Magic, just plain human, tragic – ness (that sorta rhymes). Instead, Keaton is almost too normal as a criminal; there is nothing mysterious about him. He isn’t a real challenge for Spiderman because he isn’t evil or vindictive enough from a moral standpoint. And because of this VULTURE cannot push SPIDERBOY into becoming SPIDERMAN. A hero is only as good as his villain someone once said. VULTURE doesn’t create a single TRULY challenging scenario for SPIDER-BOY to figure out his identity.

In fact, the main ANTAGONIST in this FILM is really IRON MAN…who takes away SPIDER BOY’S “unearned” power…How can IRON MAN be more of a bad guy, than the friggin BAD GUY!

In cultures all around the world- there is a RITE OF PASSAGE to becoming a man, great loss, great sacrifice. SPIDERBOY doesn’t have this happen in this movie, so he can’t really be called SPIDER-MAN. In fact, that’s a premature speculation. (See what I did there).

If they changed the title to SPIDER-BOY HOME-WORKING – the film would make more sense, because Peter Parker and his friend do a lot of homework together.

Yay diverse casting in this movie by the way!

Agree or Disagree? Tweet at me, and I’ll respond when the WIFI gods bless me

 

Tatenda Mbudzi is a filmmaker/comedian who rubs people the wrong way, or the right way (if the price is right)His first feature film Zim High comes out this year- stars Tatenda Mbudzi, and Rick Cosnett from The Flash.

Twitter: @ta10da instagram: tatendambudzi. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetatenda

New Music: Mushawarukwa The Mixtape

 


Born in the oldest high-density suburb of a city in the eastern high lands of Zimbabwe (a ghetto called Sakubva in the city of Mutare), Flexxo Mushawarukwa’s musical talent was discovered in a primary school choir. As he grew older and living in squalor he began to write poems that were inspired by the experiences that he faced in that area of town. He then felt that it wasn’t enough to just write and not share his heart, that’s when he chose to recite his poems in rap form on street corners.  Upon noticing that his influence was growing he then took it further by taking his poems to a make shift recording studio where he mixed his street corner raps with a rhythm and the rest was history.

Watch Ndakweiwa (Official Music Video)