Spiderman Home-Coming, Or Spiderboy Home-Working

 

By Director Z / Tatenda Mbudzi

Disclaimer: the following reviews, opinions will be extremely biased. BUT also come from a place of empathy, as the writer is a writer/director actor, and no-one ever sets out to make bad film. In most cases. PLUS the author has worked at a bunch of Hollywood Studios long enough to understand, love and simultaneously hate the miracle of modern filmmaking.   

Came home! From like, the CIVIL WAR movie! Or should I say the CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR, TV show – that ironically started to feel like a movie the moment SPIDERMAN was introduced.

Can we talk about feeling.? SPIDER MAN! He made the trailer for CIVIL WAR a historic moment –

BUT – I don’t think he made it home just yet. Not as SPIDER…..MAN

MILD to BLAZING RED HOT SPOILERS ahead. If you have not watched the SAM RAIMI, MARC WEBB, and who is the latest guy? (Ha – just kidding, but really, why can’t I recall his name. Hmmm. ) Jon Watts! Then shoot yourself in the foot.

 

Look, the movie was very enjoyable – I especially like the use of CINEMA VERITE, FOUND FOOTAGE style film technique to give a SNAP-CHAT-esque window into the AIRPORT FIGHT SCENE. I think this was added especially to make GENERATION Y and Z feel at “HOME”. (how many home puns can I use here, try me)

And I thought the rest of the film was OK.

Filmmaking is hard.

Why am I writing this article again?  Because I was expecting a proper re-launch into SPIDERMAN – because there was this hope that it would be done “right”. But it didn’t hit the mark for me. Tom Holland was great – finally, a teenager playing a teenager – never mind that he is a British Teenager, playing an American Teenager.

Did I say filmmaking is hard? It really is.

I just feel overall that this was really an episode of SPIDER BOY – and not SPIDERMAN – and you could say “Well Disney and Marvel are taking their time to establish the character”. Yes, you could say that. You could say it out loud as you read this. The fact remains – Young Spidey doesn’t really come into his own enough in this story.

What we are watching, is really a prolonged first act (dare I say PILOT EPISODE –ugh). We don’t get a sense of life or death level threat to Spiderman’s “world”. And yes, some have said, “Oh it’s nice that it’s a smaller story”. True, but it still has to feel life or death, the stakes have to be there….

It all just feels one step away from being as VISCERAL as it should be. It’s just a little too safe. There are great comedic moments of banter between characters, BUT, not enough of an engine to feel like the adventure as a whole matter.

This said – I really did love the ELEVATOR scene – finally, the prospect of DEATH makes an appearance! But still, this isn’t a direct result of the VILLAIN deliberately making things hard for Spiderman, so we I felt a little lackluster. “THAT’S COOL!” but it doesn’t say anything about the conflict between the two main characters. If VULTURE was a committed villain, wouldn’t he have risked endangering his daughters’ life to get what he wanted?

LIKE DOC OC! BAM!

I hate to agree with the popular consensus  – but. Screw it. (see what I did there)

DOC OC is currently the best villain in the EXTENDED/ADOPTED Marvel Cinematic Universe. Still. I mean, I can’t think of any others at the moment.

I mean, not to sound weird, but VISUALLY – he is a sexy villain. The animation of the arms was great  – and his desire for greatness led to the death of his WIFE. YAY! DEPTH!

I just don’t get that sense of depth from EL VULTURE.

I am a long time Spidey Fan, getting comics sporadically from the Kingstons bookstore in ZIM, and just gobbling them up, and drawing Spidey after John Romita Jr. I am not familiar with the VULTURE the way I know DOC OC.

DOC OC is the staple character of the CARTOON SPIDERMAN from the 90’s – so I am a little biased.

Still, when DOC OC hits the screen in SPIDERMAN 2 (2005) we see a morphed creature –inseparable from the appendages that make him what he is.

I do not see the same sort of HUBRIS or desire for power manifested as a result of the VULTURE WINGS. Now I’m not saying they needed to be burnt into Michael Keaton’s spinal column and nervous system by a malfunctioning AI chip (I mean the AI is a bit of s stretch) BUT – the VULTURE WINGS didn’t push the character of the VILLAIN to a dangerous enough MORAL high ground if you will. There was nothing TRANSFORMATIVE about the use of the Vulture wings.

If SPIDERMAN is about GREAT POWER, coming with GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. Then it is also about GREAT POWER coming with great CORRUPTION, and IRRESPONSIBILITY. I see that in DOC OC – and it is visually manifested which is why I find him to be such a satisfying villain to watch.  The arms are a character fused with DOC OC. Man, it’s pretty.

In Spiderman Home Coming – the POWER of the Chi-Tari weapons affects Michael Keatons character on a surface level – his soul is not touched. And it doesn’t have to be touched “supernaturally” – it could be classic greed, like in Breaking Bad. No Magic, just plain human, tragic – ness (that sorta rhymes). Instead, Keaton is almost too normal as a criminal; there is nothing mysterious about him. He isn’t a real challenge for Spiderman because he isn’t evil or vindictive enough from a moral standpoint. And because of this VULTURE cannot push SPIDERBOY into becoming SPIDERMAN. A hero is only as good as his villain someone once said. VULTURE doesn’t create a single TRULY challenging scenario for SPIDER-BOY to figure out his identity.

In fact, the main ANTAGONIST in this FILM is really IRON MAN…who takes away SPIDER BOY’S “unearned” power…How can IRON MAN be more of a bad guy, than the friggin BAD GUY!

In cultures all around the world- there is a RITE OF PASSAGE to becoming a man, great loss, great sacrifice. SPIDERBOY doesn’t have this happen in this movie, so he can’t really be called SPIDER-MAN. In fact, that’s a premature speculation. (See what I did there).

If they changed the title to SPIDER-BOY HOME-WORKING – the film would make more sense, because Peter Parker and his friend do a lot of homework together.

Yay diverse casting in this movie by the way!

Agree or Disagree? Tweet at me, and I’ll respond when the WIFI gods bless me

 

Tatenda Mbudzi is a filmmaker/comedian who rubs people the wrong way, or the right way (if the price is right)His first feature film Zim High comes out this year- stars Tatenda Mbudzi, and Rick Cosnett from The Flash.

Twitter: @ta10da instagram: tatendambudzi. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetatenda

New Music: Mushawarukwa The Mixtape

 


Born in the oldest high-density suburb of a city in the eastern high lands of Zimbabwe (a ghetto called Sakubva in the city of Mutare), Flexxo Mushawarukwa’s musical talent was discovered in a primary school choir. As he grew older and living in squalor he began to write poems that were inspired by the experiences that he faced in that area of town. He then felt that it wasn’t enough to just write and not share his heart, that’s when he chose to recite his poems in rap form on street corners.  Upon noticing that his influence was growing he then took it further by taking his poems to a make shift recording studio where he mixed his street corner raps with a rhythm and the rest was history.

Watch Ndakweiwa (Official Music Video) 

Hub Awards @ Shoko 2017 – $16 000 Worth Of Prizes | Applications Now Open

 

The Hub Awards @Shoko Festival will award 4 x $4 000 dollars worth of prizes and opportunities each to new cutting edge ideas that use new media and civic tech to solve problems in their community or at a national scale. The awards seek to empower the next generation of new media and tech startups. In the past, startups such as CulxureMag, Tipster, TV Yangu, Spiked and Bustop TV have benefitted from this initiative and bloomed into leading digital companies.

Deadline 17 August 2017 

Categories:

1. WOMEN RISING AWARD – An award given to a startup/organisation advocating for women’s rights & voice using new media & technology.

2. SPEAK TRUTH TO POWER AWARD – An award for a new media solution & platform encouraging accountability & dialogue (with local authorities, city council, local government & government)

3. YOUR VOICE AWARD – An award for the best upcoming individual blog, video blog or citizen journalism platform.

4. FIX UP, LOOK SHARP AWARD – An award for the best new media/ tech solution to address poor service delivery in communities.

Terms & Conditions

Participants can either be individuals or teams
Participants are allowed to submit one idea only
Participants must be residents of Zimbabwe
Participants must between the ages of 16 & 35 years old
Participants must be willing to participant in The Hub Awards Pitch competition at Shoko 2017
Must complete the application
The judge’s decision is final

Apply Here

WTF? Madungwe Says Mboro Killed The Wrong Satan & Jesus Is Preaching In Hell

 

By Kalabash Contributor

In an interesting turn of events, controversial South African Prophet Mboro who recently claimed to have gone to hell and killed Satan may have killed the wrong Satan, an equally controversial Zimbabwean Prophet has revealed.

Speaking in an interview Prophet Talent Madungwe poured cold water to Prophet Mboro’s claims, “we arrested the devil on 6 June so these people they claim that they killed the devil but it was 26 June or 25 when I heard it that they killed the devil but by that time the devil was in the sky level with us so if they killed the devil they killed the wrong devil because they killed maybe someone who is not the devil maybe someone who worked the devil. The devil I still with the heavenly army in our custody as I’m speaking we shall release him on the 30th of July”.

Madungwe says while Satan is still in custody, Jesus Christ is preaching in hell for sinners and may redeem those who choose to repent. When quizzed on why they are set to release the devil at the end of the month, he said, “the devil is the tester of all people, you cannot enter heaven unless you get tested by the devil that’s why we are going to release him, but we have reduced his power so he is going to come back weaker as compared to before”

Madungwe is not new to controversy; his prophecies include statistics that put Zimbabwe on the top 10 list of nations that sin citing adultery as the more pronounced sin that landed Zimbabwe on the list.  This and a series of other prophecies that have led the majority of his countrymen to rubbish him as a mental case, Mandungwe in his defense has said, “that’s their view, yes I know these things we call them higher dimensions when I say higher dimensions these are complicated things”.

8 Things I Learned About The Tinder Dating App In The Past 2 Days

 

By Samantha Nyasha 

Tinder is an online dating app. An intimidating one at that. Mostly because its known as an app that is used by people who want to hook up. This is why I always hesitated signing up. But, after a conversation with one of my friends who happened to use the app, I was convinced and I decided to bite the bullet and try it out. Put myself out there. I was worried about the kind of people I’d find on the app or rather the kind of people I wouldn’t find. In my mind, it was an app for people looking for easy sex. I was worried about what joining Tinder would say about me. Desperate, sad and pathetic.

My Tinder profile

However, I soon realized that like any social media site, Tinder is a fast and easy way to meet people. Just like in real life you will meet all kinds of people. Awesome people, assholes, cute boys, not so cute boys, people you connect with, people you don’t connect with, you will meet future friends and most likely people who want to hook up and so on. The most important thing is that you are in control of who can message you and where things go. So if you’re curious about how the online dating game plays out in Zimbabwe. Here’s a few things I realized after using the app for a few days.

1. It’s like using a fast-food drive through

You get in, check out the menu and place your order, all in the comfort of your own home. If you are anti social. Tinder is bae. When you open the app, you are bombarded with hundreds of pictures of men or women who are 15km or less to where you are. You simply swipe left if you don’t like what you see, or right if you do like what you see. The catch? You can only get connected to people who have also swiped right on your pictures.

2. Keep it short and sweet

Unlike dating websites like Match.Com or eHarmony, that make you go through a torturous Q & A section that quite literally takes hours to complete, you will be signed up in 5 minutes or less with Tinder. All you need to do is upload pictures and write a short profile. You are more likely to get a response if you have great quality pictures and have a variety of pictures so that people get a good idea of what you really look like.

3. You have to sign up through Facebook

This one was a huge deterrent for me. And there doesn’t seem to be a way around this. I don’t want people on Facebook to know I’m on Tinder but they do promise that they wont post anything to your profile. They seem to mainly use your Facebook account for your profile pictures and work status. You can also see which of your Facebook friends are on Tinder by using the Swipe with Friends section which irked me and I panicked and quickly shut down my account but reassessed the situation and decided that I didn’t care if they saw my profile haha. They’re on there too so, your secret is mine 😉

4. Be prepared to swipe a lot

This ones important. I’m guessing for every 100 or so swipes you will get an average of about 10 – 20 guys you like. And of those 20 only about 5 will swipe right on your profile too. And of those five you might really only connect with 1 or none. So if you do your math, that means the more you swipe the better chance you have at meeting someone legit. Get yourself a glass of wine, relax and dedicate a good hour to swiping through different profiles. I’m guessing for every 100 swipes. You’ll probably only connect with 1 person.

5. #DistanceMatters

What makes Tinder unique is that it tries to connect you to someone who is physically close to where you are swiping from at that moment. So if you are looking to “hook up” with someone, whatever that means. This app is perfect. You can literally link up ASAP. It also makes it easier to meet up if you are just interested in getting to know someone on a one on one basis. If you run out of profiles to swipe, try using the app at a different location to where you normally swipe from and new profiles will come up.

6. Tinder users in Zimbabwe seem highly educated and intellectual

I did not have any dull conversations. Most people that messaged me wanted to know more about me. No one made any aggressive sexual advances. Most people hold degrees or are professionals. I talked to a doctor who works in China and speaks Mandarin. Most of the questions had nothing to do with sex but my interests, passions and work.

7. It can be awkward

This city is too small. I’ll say it again, Harare is too *fucking small. You will come across one or two profiles of people you know. A close friend, an ex, a family member which is just weird. But just swipe left  and pretend it did not happen.

8. Issa melting pot

As a black African woman. I tend to gravitate more towards black men and tend to stay in social circles with mostly black people. If you are interested in dating or getting to know people of different ethnicities, you have a better shot at making that happen on Tinder.  You are likely to find an open minded black/white/Indian person on Tinder that in real life cause lets be real. We have a lot of racial biases and prejudices in this country. People tend to stick to their own and that makes it harder to approach one another. I’m not saying if you swipe right on a vanilla guy with washboard abs he will swipe back at ya. But, the more you swipe on vanilla guys. The more chances you will get of connecting with someone and vice versa. #Maths

There you go. My final thoughts on Tinder are that its not what I expected. I was pleasantly surprised. I’m guessing it has a lot to do with the fact that using it in Zimbabwe is quite different than using it anywhere else in the world if you consider cultural norms and such. There are a lot of good looking guys. There are a lot of guys who seem to have genuine intentions. My goal was to swipe through as many profiles as possible. I signed up on Saturday so I’ve been on there for a full 2 days. I must have swiped through about 200 profiles, liked between 50 – 80 and got 8 matches. There are only 2 guys that I am having some pretty good/deep life convos with and one possible meet up on the horizon.  I was planning on deleting my account, article in tow but I like the app and I will keep it up for a full 7 days and see this experiment through. If you are curious and looking to meet new people. I recommend Tinder. Good swiping!