By Simba The Comic King
Every once in a while….actually make that every f**kin’ day, we look for a helpless victim on social media and criticize them viciously for no apparent reason. Sometimes we are not content with small fish so we look for much bigger and more famous prey. This weekend was no exception as the On-Your-Facebook-And-Twitter-Timeline jury took to the keyboards and keypads to criticize Jah Prayzah’s latest song which features that guy from Nigeria who seems to feature on everything these days.
The much hyped about song dropped on Friday and boy did it drop on the wrong bunch of niggas. Apart from connecting with others, making new friends and stalking the s**t out of that chick who always posts pictures of her doing stick-my- booty-out poses, Facebook’s other primary function is for people to unite and tell you just what the f**k they think about your s**t. The song got criticized for pretty much anything and everything from the lyrics with a line that sounds like “you shine like a light from the sango.” You shine like a light from the bush? This had most people thinking that maybe Jah is dating a girl called Moses. The actual lyrics are, “You shine like a light from the sun girl,” but I guess Jah’s problem is that he isn’t into fake accents so it just didn’t come out how we would have wanted it to come out. Maybe he needs to get lessons from those that now deceased hip hop group, Major Playaz.
So now we get to a very important question: what is the point of this article really? Initially there was no point, I just thought I’d take the opportunity to whip up some tasteless jokes about girls who shine like lights from bushes but then it occurred to me, how does all this negative energy reflect on us as a nation? Why do we bombard a man who is really going out of his way for Zimbabwe to become a music powerhouse in Africa? Does it really matter that “sun girl” sounds like “sango”? Does it really matter that every artist he sings with is forced to sing in Shona at gunpoint? The answer to those questions is I really don’t know the answer to all those questions.
What I do know though is that it’s pitiful for us as a people to criticize folks who are putting in humongous work. It reflects our collective insecurities. Some were of the opinion that the song wasn’t as good as his other songs….like duh, it not that it wasn’t as good, it just didn’t sound like the traditional dance you’re a** off kinda vibe we are used to from Jah. And I salute him because you know what the f**k he’s doing? It’s a little something called evolution but of course that’s something you wouldn’t understand because you have living in your grandfather’s house for forty years and so did your father before that before he got killed by some unnamed STI. I’m not saying one shouldn’t be criticized but come on, an entire country critiquing the man’s music as if all of our names are Mtandazo Dube, who actually gets paid to call out people on their s**t. You aren’t a critic, so relax. JP got his big break from songs like Sviriyo Sviriyo but then you can’t keep Sviriyoing Sviriyoing Yekedero right? Oops, the latter is a song by Andy Whistle and I think I left out a T somewhere in there but you get my point, right? Davido must be thinking, “What an ungrateful bunch of niggas, took four months for me to learn those two lines in Shona and do they know how hard it was not to say “woooo” at the end of every sentence gaddhemeti.”