Soul Jah Love Is Not A Thing… He Is Things!


By Simba The Comic King

Soul Jah Love has done did it again. First, he started off “on the Dwayne Johnsons” (Pamamonya Ipapo), now he is things ( Ndiri Zvinhu). This past Saturday SJL was humiliated when a youthiez leader, Innocent Hamandishe told an excited crowd to calm the f**k down after they had spotted the “on the Dwayne Johnsons” hitmaker. The not so youthful youth leader openly declared in front of the freakin’ masses that “Soul Jah Love haasi chinhu,” for our foreign readers loosely translated that means, “Soul Jah Love is not a thing.” This was the ruling party’s response after they feared he might outshine the headline act, MC Bob himself.

Now when faced with such a scenario the most logical reaction for the average human being would be to go home, masturbate and sleep it off but not for SJL. In what must have been a song he wrote as soon as he left the stadium, he recorded a track entitled “Ndiri Zvinhu” (I Am Things). A jam that is not only a pleasant clap back to the insult but you can actually dance to the s**t (listen to the song below).

If you though diss tracks were only a hip hop thing, you thought horribly wrong nigga. Jay-Z ain’t gat nothing on Chibaba Chacho, once again for our foreign readers we shall translate, “The small father.”

The uproar caused by the video that’s been trending on social media has raised a very critical question, “Can the artist be a bigger thing than the Head Of State” and an even more important question, “Are Things not chips and not human beings?” We live in a country where an artist is viewed as an individual with nothing to do except smoke a lot of weed, drink lots of alcohol and allows this magic concoction to create all that s**t you dance to. That actually what an artist is but that’s not the point, the point here is didn’t anyone teach ZANU PF youth leaders some manners? I mean the dude took time out of his weed smoking schedule only to be told that he is not a thing? An artist deserves a little bit of respect for giving making the music you all love and smoke weed to. Let’s hope ZANU PF youthiez can figure out what rhymes with “zvinhu.” Ol’ Jonny boy can’t help on this one cause his genre is urban grooves.  Let’s hope this thing doesn’t mean we’ll be holding candles at Rotten Row a few days from now #PamaCourtIpapo gaddhemeti.

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